Archive for the ‘Random Moments’ Category

Sabi niya, “okay lang magtanong, wag lang paulit-ulit”

Sorry na, boy, kung ako’y makulit

Gusto ko lang namang siguraduhing okay ka

Tutal minsan lang naman tayo magkita

 

Wag sana isipin na pinaiiral ko ang aking pagiging peryodista

Pag tinatadtad ita ng taonong habang naglalakad tayo sa bangketa

Na-miss lang siguro kita, yung lang ‘yon

Sige na nga, aaminin kong ispesyal ka sa’kin, simula pa noon

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It was beautiful, a beautiful sight in Lakefront circle.

The sun has just risen, but you can already feel its comforting warmth embracing you. There was a flock of birds that flew on to the horizon. I was walking, and there were people walking with me.

Oh, such a beautiful sight!

Families bonding; parents cherishing these precious moments and children enjoying their innocence. Couples reuniting, mending broken bonds and giving new chances. Friends who shared smiles, and with each passing moment, they knew each other better—their bonds strengthening.

You could just see the joy reflected in the eyes of these people, people who have someone walking with them, walking along side of them.

But, there were a few who walked alone. Staring out at the long path ahead of them, just walking, going to wherever their feet will take them.

What a beautiful sight it was!

Seeing these people to keep on walking, not letting the loneliness overtake them. They carried on and faced the sun—holding on to its promise of new beginnings and new chances.

The sun is high on the sky now. Shadows are already as tall as the trees. I paused to gaze at the long road.

Oh, how beautiful, what a beautiful sight indeed!

To see all those people keep moving forward, again and again, around the Lakefront circle.

Earlier today, I was actually thinking what I would post in my blog tonight. There was really nothing that significant that happened to me today. I just reviewed for my Spanish exam and watched a movie and a couple of Kim Possible  and How I Met Your Mother episodes. These are a great watch, really, but a part of me sort of regrets watching them. Mainly it’s because these shows are portraying a common theme: love.

Love.

How I wish I knew the true meaning of that word. In TV shows, movies and even a couple of cartoons, love is portrayed in a very ideal, unrealistic, yeah-right-that-never-happens-in-real-life kind of way. People searching the world for their perfect match, but turns out the one they’re looking for has been in front of them the whole time (Kim Possible). That sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some people aren’t just meant to be (How I Met Your Mother, Season 2 Episode 22). Even the most unlikely and unlovable people can find love (Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, 2003). There’s tons of things about love and romance everywhere. Falling in love with your best friend. Falling in love with your best friend’s girlfriend. Breaking up with someone. End up marrying the person you’ve been dating for 10 years.

Man, I have to take a break in watching these kinds of shows. It makes me think… makes me wonder…

What is it like to actually fall in love?

I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. Love has always been a blur to me. Well, I know that kind of love for your best and closest friends and love for family. I know what it’s like in that aspect. But that kind of love for “someone special”? I have no freaking idea.

When I was younger and still in high school—in the time of crushes, love notes, awkward love teams and giddy feeling—my classmates have this hobby of asking random questions to random people. One of the cliché questions was, “how do you define love?” To play it safe, I said to them—and I still say this whenever I encounter that question—“It is a four letter word that begins with the letter ‘L’.” I know it’s a safe, oh-she-doesn’t-want-to-show-her-real-cards kind of definition, but to be fair, it is a valid way of defining that word.  But what do you expect from someone who almost never fell in love before?

Almost never fell in love. Yeah, that’s how I put it. I’ve went as far as being infatuated with someone, to experience having mutual feelings with someone… but that’s it. As much as I’d like to say I’ve fallen for someone before, I can’t. ‘Cause I’m not really sure if I did.

What is it like to really be in love? It is really like how they show it on TV? Those “butterflies in your stomach”, “the beating of your heart goes faster”, “it feels like time was standing still”, “suddenly it feels like it’s only the two of you in this world”… those you-look-into-his-eyes-and-you-know-that-he-feels-the-same-way kind of moments… are any of those real? Do they really happen in real life? Or am I turning into a hopeless romantic?

Man, I hope not.

I really wonder what it’s like. To meet someone who will make you tear down your defenses. To have this unexplainable feeling. To actually feel nervous whenever you see him. To actually like someone. To find someone likes you back. To receive sweet text messages. To talk in the phone for hours. To go on dates. To hold hands with someone. To share earphones and listen to music. To get a stuffed toy and chocolates. To have someone carry your bag as he walks you home. To have mini-fights and make up. To watch the sunset together. To look into someone’s eyes. To be adored. To feel inspired.

To find someone special. To fall in love.

I wonder. Hmm, I’m actually smiling to myself right now. A part of me feels ridiculous. Sure, everybody is looking for somebody. But I’m not really the type of girl that is so worked up about these stuff. I don’t worry much about my appearance; I don’t really dress up; I don’t panic how I should approach a guy; I don’t go boy-hunting (okay, sometimes I do); I don’t try to get someone to text me… well, the point is, I guess this really is not my priority right now. And it’s just that I’m not that ready for that kind of commitment.

Call me old-fashioned, but when I enter a relationship, I don’t want it to be just special, I want it to be right. I want it to be serious, to lead to something more meaningful. I don’t want us to be with each other knowing soon that the relationship will end anyway. I don’t want it to be perfect—there is no such thing as a perfect relationship after all. I just want it to be just right, to have to love someone more and more each day.

Okay, maybe my thoughts on love are a bit ideal. These shows are really rubbing off on me.

Sigh.

I’ve been going on and on about this and still I don’t know what love is like. But maybe someday I will.

Someday, I will give a better definition of that four letter word. I just have to wait and see.

Cat Naps

Posted: January 13, 2013 in Random Moments
Tags: , , , , , , ,

In every circle of friends, each one has a characteristic that serves as her own identifier. In our circle, Cham is the smart and mysterious one; Coren is the cold one;  Angge is the fighter-type (note: not really the one that gets into fights, it’s more of being strong despite problems and such); Ricci is the clumsy one, while me? Well, I’m the sleepy one.

When you see me at school, well, at least, whenever the five of us are together, whether we are at our favorite spot in the university, whether we’re commuting or just sitting plainly in the classroom, I’m the one always dozing off, taking naps and such. I bet they have a collection of pictures of me while asleep. I always take naps. Maybe it’s because I just lack sleep or I just love to sleep. A lot. Sometimes I do it on purpose, but most of the time, my eyelids get heavy and I’m just pulled into dreamland.

Yesterday, someone took a nap with me.

No, it’s not what you think. It’s a cat, well, more of a kitty if you ask me.

After our first period, the five of us went to our favorite spot within the university—the botanical garden. That place just makes us relax. The whole space is full of trees and plants, and only a few people come there. It’s so peaceful, so serene, so far away from buildings, stress and schoolwork. It’s the only place in the university wherein you can actually lean back, relax… breathe. We went there to eat lunch when a small cat emerged from the bushes and came near us, making an adorable face, asking for a snack. It was drizzling. So what are the odds a cat would come out? I’m not really a cat person, so my first reaction was to ignore it. But it kept hanging around us, it even cuddled my leg. Kind of crept me out a little, but I guess that’s just how cats are. Anyway, we ended up feeding the cat. I was the one who tossed a small strip of chicken that I had for lunch, and a few left over pork that they had. It was not really much of a cute cat, it had a lot of… well, areas wherein his bare skin can be seen. This cat must’ve gone through a lot. But Cham, being a cat person, said that this cat was a domesticated one, because after we fed it, it kept hanging around us unlike most alley cats that would leave the moment you give it food.

After a while, we just went on with our business—studying, browsing notes, looking for variables that could be used for our thesis, talking, etc. The cat was still hanging around us. It even went up to Coren’s chair. Haha. I went out for about 30 minutes to buy some cookies and charge my cellphone. When I went back to the botanical garden, the cat was still there. Cool. We have an unofficial pet now. Still, I’m no cat person. I always picture cats as creatures that would just come near you for food and a creature that likes to take its claws out. Ugh. Dogs on the other hand, are adorable, playful, loyal, energetic… very awesome for a pet.

But anyway,

A few moments later, the cat suddenly reaches up my leg. Then boom! The cat was on my lap. He was shifting comfortably, and then began to take a nap. I, on the other hand, shifted uncomfortably. This fur ball is on my lap. I kept on asking my friends to remove it. But they didn’t for a little while. I looked down at the kitten. It’s kinda cute. Still small, slightly rolled to a ball-like position because of the cold weather… scared of being alone. I smile a little. It is cute once you’ve overlooked the exposed skin. But yeah, still uncomfortable with the fact that there’s a cat on my lap.

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After a few minutes, Cham finally removed the cat and transferred him on top of Ricci’s bag—which was on the chair next to me. The kitty just rolled to the same position that it was before and then continued its nap. That’s when I found it very adorable. Aww. It’s so cute.

After that, there’s not much to do. And then, as if on cue, my eyelids got heavy. I decided to take a quick nap just like the cat next to me.

5 minutes…

10 minutes…

15 minutes…

20 minutes…

I stretched my arms in content. That was a great nap. I turned to the chair next to me. The cat is still asleep. It drizzled and stopped then drizzled again. We transferred the bag—and the cat, too—to another table. But he’s still asleep. Man, I just got beaten at what I do best. I guess it’s what cats are really good at as well. And you can never beat someone at their own game. He was sleeping for about two hours or so.

When it was almost three o’ clock and we have to get to our next class, we said goodbye to Chippy. Yes, that’s what we decided to call him—mainly because of the cookies we ate while he’s around: Chips Delight. When I was walking out of the botanical garden, there was a small smile on my face. That cat taught me something. That in the midst of the rain, the troubles and a great deal of stress, it is nice to just take a little break. Lately, there’s been a lot of stress. Papers, the incoming prelims, OJT plans and other responsibilities. Oh! It’s nice to loosen up for a while, close your eyes and temporarily shut those negative things away—through a simple yet awesome power nap.