Archive for September, 2013

Definitions

Posted: September 6, 2013 in Makes-Me-Wonder Moments

Nowadays, you don’t have to “spend time” with a person to know them. For basic information such as their likes, hobbies, dislikes and favorites can be accessed in just a click. Through social networking sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and certain blogging sites, you can know so much about a person—well, you can at least know them by the surface. There are still, of course, a lot of things—especially secrets and certain sides of people you didn’t expect them to have—you would only find out upon hanging out or actually spending time with people. But my point is, because of our online profiles, we give even mere strangers so much information about ourselves; we give them an idea as to what kind of person we are. Which got me thinking. With all my previous posts on the Internet, what kind of image am I giving to people? What are the things that define me as a person based on the Internet? What are my labels?

With all the self-reassessment, what defines me as person based on my Internet posts are the following:

  1. A Solid How I Met Your Mother Fan

This label I am proud of. Yup. Guilty as charged; I’m a solid HIMYM fan. Now that the ninth and final season is coming up, my Facebook posts are roughly 80% How I Met Your Mother related. The other 20% goes to statuses, memes, school announcements and other cool stuff I find on the net.  I really, really love the show. It’s not like most comedies—this one actually has a lot of heart into it. This label would be an accurate in real life as well. Ask my friends and family. I have copies of all the episodes, including behind the scenes videos—and I can’t go two days without watching an episode. It’s like I have to have a daily dose of HIMYM. I watch it so much I’m close to memorizing episode titles, and if you give me random scenes, I can tell you which episode and which season it came from. I make references to the show; I apply some of the rules, lessons and philosophies in real life; I can quote lines in verbatim—I’m that addicted to How I Met Your Mother! And proud of it. Haha.

  1. A Hunger Games Fan

Amongst my posts, the one that has the second greatest number would be Hunger Games related. Well, I also admit to being a Hunger Games fan. I appreciated the books, it’s actually the first trilogy I actually finished reading. And I’m the type of person that abandons a book once it gets boring, but I held on to this series. Well, I do admit that Mockingjay was too long and was getting dull, but still great just the same. I also make references to the books, relating the Hunger Games culture to some instances of school life. (My blockmates will know what I mean. Haha.) And I’m excited for the upcoming movie: Catching Fire. I actually made a deal with my thesis group that we would finish the thesis on or before November 22nd, which is a day before Catching Fire premieres here in the Philippines. Yeah. I don’t want any distractions while watching the film. It’ll be my reward to myself for finishing the thesis. I’m planning to watch it on IMAX. But before that, I had to face schoolwork.  And so I say: may the odds be ever in our favor. Haha.

  1. A Girl with Issues on Her Weight and Appearance

My rants and posts falling under this category all in my Twitter account. Yeah, once things get personal, I tend to put it on Twitter. Too many watching eyes on Facebook, seriously. So, uh, yeah. Issues about weight and appearance. Hmmm. I dunno what people are thinking whenever they see me post like that. I dunno if they feel pity or if they feel like I’m seeking attention. Let me put it this way, then. I really don’t feel good about myself. I’m the type of person who isn’t comfortable with their skin. Yeah, some people re-assure me that I’m talented and skilled. But in most days, I don’t find that comforting.  Most people will only look at you by the surface. And what they will see when they look at me is a fat unattractive girl. These issues had something to do with my Daddy issues. I grew up being compared to my cousins who were damn right beautiful and sexy—and I still experience this phenomenon till now. Occasionally. Even if I work so hard to be above them when it comes to grades, talents and skills, I still hear my Dad rant. Why couldn’t be more like your cousins who wouldn’t dare go out without fixing themselves in the mirror? Well, excuse me for thinking there’s more to life than just looking good. …Well, I think that clears this item. You get the point.

  1. A Girl with Serious Daddy Issues (and Issues with Men in General)

Okay, so this one is all in Twitter. Seriously, Twitter—other than this blog and occasional talks with by best friend—is my only outlet. If I don’t rant on Twitter, I think I’ll explode. So I apologize to my Twitter followers for having to read my frequent rant tweets about men and a certain man whom I despise. But I really need to let it out.

Dad has been… really difficult. Other than the constant insults, I can’t stand his attitude. And I really can’t get over the fact that he… repeatedly… well… yeah. I admit that I have serious Daddy issues that led me to almost being a man-hater. Well, I don’t hate men. I just hate men who are like him. Men who would do that. What my Dad did got me scared of relationships, scared of trusting men. I came the point that I don’t think I can get married without a pre-nup, just to be safe.

I am trying to change my relationship with him, I really am. It’s just so difficult. But, like all difficult things, they’re doable. I don’t want to be the girl with Daddy issues forever. I’ll get over this stage eventually. I just need to find a way to forgive him. No matter how stupid, obnoxious and douch-ee he may be.

 

Hmm.  I guess I was giving people a clear image of me. At least an image of what on the surface. But still, they don’t know my entirety,  nor the deeper story about some of my posts. So I guess it’s still a good thing

Advertisements