Archive for February, 2013

It was that time of the year again.

It was the day wherein roses and flowers were everywhere and chocolates come in special packages and cheaper prices. It was the day wherein restaurants and even fast food chains are nearly full.  It was the day wherein parks and amusement parks are a little more crowded. It was the day wherein more and more annoying couples are out on broad daylight. It was the day boys are panicking and rushing to the stores and it was the day that girls would dress up and look a little more pleasant than usual. The day wherein there’ll be music, surprises and, later on, tears of joy.  The day wherein every relationship seems okay.

Most people call it Valentine’s Day. Some call it Hearts Day. People living in the same city as me would call it Paranaque Day. I call it a Thursday.

It’s not that I’m bitter or anything. It’s not that I hate being single today, either. It’s just that this day annoys the crap out of me.

Seeing couples holding hands in public is bearable, but the mere act of kissing, hugging, and walking ever so slowly in public is just infuriating. Some things are not meant to be done in public. Some people would want to enjoy the open space, you know? Go flirt somewhere else where no one can see you, damn it. And today, that ever annoying sight multiplies tenfold. Right now, as I sit in the mall’s food court, it’s like 7 out of 10 tables are occupied by couples. Couples who are just… ugh.

They’re in love, I get it. But seriously. It’s like they can’t get enough of each other. Can’t they spend a minute apart? I mean, is it really necessary to cuddle each other in the train or in the bus? Do they really have the liberty to kiss and peck each other whenever they feel like doing it just because they’re a couple? Geez.

Again, I’m not bitter. I’m happy that people find someone who understands them and all, but seriously, if these couples could show less affection in public, that would make the world a better place.

I admire people who find each other, I really do. Those who have been together for years and are planning to get engaged are very lucky people, and I salute them for having the courage to take such a big step. I have always had this special fascination for old couples, knowing that they’ve been through so much and yet they still chose to stay with each other; they lived up to the promise that says “for better or for worse.”

So, on this so-called Thursday, I’m both happy and irritated by the fact that “love is in the air”. Geez. I hope I’m not having bipolar tendencies.

A friend of mine told me yesterday that in our group, I was the hopeless romantic. I threw at her a bucket full of denial. Why would it be me? I don’t want an ideal relationship, and I’m not hoping for a perfect one ‘cause I’ve seen the reality: promises are not always kept and that thing you feel called “love” can be as temporary as the thickness of your wallet.

Am I a hopeless romantic? No. Not really. Well, maybe a little. No. No. I can’t be hopeless romantic—a little frustrated when it comes to romance, maybe. But not hopeless romantic. I hope.

I never really minded the fact that I’m single nor the fact that I haven’t had any suitors for some time. But lately, it’s starting to get to me. It’s all going back to my confidence issues. Maybe the reason why no one is interested in me is because I have extra weight, maybe because I don’t “dress up” and put on make-up unless it’s necessary, maybe because I don’t let my defenses down. Maybe because I come on too strong. Maybe because I’m intimidating. Maybe because I’m not beautiful enough.

One of those has got to be it. Probably. My bet is on the last reason. The way I see it, most guys look for pretty girls or whomsoever they think is pleasing to the eyes. I have some friends whose beauty you won’t notice upfront, but then became a lot more “lady-like” after some time. Their wardrobe improved, their skin got fairer and whiter, their face cleared up, they maintained a good figure… they have grown to be a lot more beautiful over the past few years. And now, well, the results were evident. One already has a boyfriend for over a year, and the other one has two or three suitors eating out of her hands.

I wonder if such a thing can ever happen to me. Even if I decide to “grow up” and be more “lady-like,” will it end up like the way that it did for them? Besides, who would be interested in someone like me? I’d sometimes ponder on the thought.

Most of the people will spend this day with their so-called “special someone,” while I’ll be spending it with clients, friends and family. It doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

I wonder if things will be different next year. I wonder if in the next February 14th, I’ll experience the sweet taste of chocolates and the faint fragrance of the roses.

Maybe I should stop wondering.